Really, really tired, and can’t sleep. I’ve been suffering from insomnia for about 5 or 6 weeks now. I was exhausted and ready to sleep at about midnight, but I haven’t been able to make myself drop off. I decided to get up and have a glass or two of milk and try to make myself drowsy. Looks like I’ll probably miss church again, since I know I won’t wake up for my alarm with only 5 hours of sleep two nights in a row. The only thing I’m having more trouble with than falling asleep is waking up in the morning.
I’m having a lot of trouble in general. My doctor has tripled my dosage of the Celexa, and I’m still only managing. The stress of being unemployed is getting to me quite a bit. I have been having a lot of trouble keeping my emotions in check, and it’s been hard on Jennie, I know. I’m feeling kind of anxious because she’s starting back to UNC tomorrow. It’s been a wonderful 7 months having her around all the time. It’s going to be a difficult adjustment going back to how things were early in our relationship. I know we’ll be able to weather it, but it’s going to be trying.
I’m having a hard time convincing myself to turn my job search wider, to look outside of Colorado, for the same reason. As much as I know it would improve my chances of finding a job sooner, I’m very reluctant to move away from friends and family again. About the only place I’d be even remotely comfortable moving is back to Oklahoma, but I realize that many of my friends there, of those that haven’t already, about to move away from there themselves.