After my re-encounter with Search this past weekend, I find I’m in a real quandary; I can’t decide whether I want to go home to Denver or make a life for myself here in Oklahoma. I realized that there are so many people that mean so much to me out here that I don’t want to leave. There are many back home, too, but I’m not sure how to decide between the two. For all I know, I won’t even get any offers in either place, and I’ll have to go to Chicago or San Francisco anyway. That would be really hard – to leave my family and friends in both places.
I also realized this weekend that I’m falling in love, I think. It’s so impossible, though – I mean, she’s already with someone (boy, there’s a surprise!). Besides that, here I am on the verge of graduation and probably leaving, and she’s only barely halfway through. This always seems to happen to me. I’m trying to decide whether or not I should tell her. I mean, is it really fair to her to do that? Why should I burden her with my problem? It’s not like she’d leave her boyfriend for me or anything.
I think what I really need is Spring Break – that’ll help clear my head and get me focused on finishing up. I’m going to South Padre Island this year. It’s gonna be pretty cool – I’ve never gone anywhere but home for Spring Break, so it’s going to be an adventure.